I am not a world class runner.

There, I said it.

Admitting it is always the first step, so I’m told.

This weekend was definitely a mixed bag and I have to convince myself that in terms of training, this is ok. I didn’t eat as well as I would have liked. I got my Saturday run in before we went out of town for the night and it went well (although it was only 5 km). Due to reasons but within, but mostly outside of my control, I didn’t get in my planned run on Sunday. The weather, travel and just plain exhaustion all combined to put the kibosh on running for the day.

Missing a run always makes me grumpy and missing a long run adds in guilt. Add in the fact that it was actually my birthday and I was not a particularly happy birthday boy. Why grumpy though? And what’s with the guilt? Maybe putting it down in words will help me understand myself but also gain some perspective.

I know that running is an important part of my therapy. But I have to take when I do it as a positive and not when I miss it as a negative. I am aware of the slippery slope of missing workouts – once I miss one, the next is easier to skip, etc etc., but that is within my control. There are many other aspects in my life that are extremely positive – especially my family. Spending more time with them for whatever reason is something I should feel thankful for, not resentful.

When I look at how many miles I’ve put in this year and look at how many more I plan to do, missing an occasional workout – even a long run – is ok. Technically, it’s mathematically insignificant. Yesterday, I was supposed to run 18 km and for the year I’m on pace for around 2400 km. The negative effect that missing that run will have on my season is non-existent.

Logically, I know that the risks in pushing myself to get in that run yesterday far outweighed any possible benefits – physical or psychological. Having raced last weekend, dialing it back this week was the plan anyway. Giving myself a little extra recovery will make me stronger down the road, as long as the extra rest itself doesn’t become habit.

Doing a long run in slippery conditions or on a treadmill were also risky especially with me being overtired. As annoying as missing a single workout may be, an injury causing days or weeks of recuperation would be much, much worse. I was forced to take three weeks off last summer and it was very difficult. Ultimately, with lots of support from my family and assistance from my coach, I recovered in time to meet my season’s goals and actually exceed them. I really want to avoid that situation this year and not making rash or irresponsible choices.

Ultimately, I’m certainly not going to be slower because of yesterday. I know that I am still improving week by week and month by month. It’s also important to remember the long term goals I have set for myself.  My main goal is to be a healthy and physically active role model for my kids which isn’t affected by missing an occasional run either.